Everyone's Life is Shitty
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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Future
Craigslist
Or if you're too lazy to click:
Reply to: sale-816668632@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-08-28, 12:08PM EDT
Or if you're too lazy to click:
Journey With Me Into the Future - $39 (your house/the future)
Reply to: sale-816668632@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-08-28, 12:08PM EDT
Have you ever wondered what the future is like?
Is it scary?
Is it cool?
Does everyone dress in matching unitards?
Have we colonized the sun?
Do dragons walk around and then set fire to people's stupid ugly faces on a whim?
What happened when Jesus came back to Earth on a horse made of fire and abortions?
Do you want to find out more?
Well I, Dr. Marty McFly, have been to your so-called glorious future and can provide the answers to these questions and more for a small, one time fee of 39.99$
I will happily regale you with tales of:
Rocket ships and lollipops.
The battle of South Dakota
Racist Cheerleading
Nuclear Winter Olympics
Rollerblading
I know these concepts may frighten the mortal man but I am superior to you in every conceivable way and my superior genius brain was able to handle all these amazing cultural and scientific revolutions.
I suggest purchasing a helmet of the greatest caliber as I will blow up your fucking brain with excitement from the goddamn future when you pay me monies to regale the shit out of you.
If you decline to pay I will go into the past and punch you right in your dickhole. Then I will infect you with a disease they don't have a cure for in your loser time.
Fuck you 2008!
PostingID: 816668632
Is it scary?
Is it cool?
Does everyone dress in matching unitards?
Have we colonized the sun?
Do dragons walk around and then set fire to people's stupid ugly faces on a whim?
What happened when Jesus came back to Earth on a horse made of fire and abortions?
Do you want to find out more?
Well I, Dr. Marty McFly, have been to your so-called glorious future and can provide the answers to these questions and more for a small, one time fee of 39.99$
I will happily regale you with tales of:
Rocket ships and lollipops.
The battle of South Dakota
Racist Cheerleading
Nuclear Winter Olympics
Rollerblading
I know these concepts may frighten the mortal man but I am superior to you in every conceivable way and my superior genius brain was able to handle all these amazing cultural and scientific revolutions.
I suggest purchasing a helmet of the greatest caliber as I will blow up your fucking brain with excitement from the goddamn future when you pay me monies to regale the shit out of you.
If you decline to pay I will go into the past and punch you right in your dickhole. Then I will infect you with a disease they don't have a cure for in your loser time.
Fuck you 2008!
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- Location: your house/the future
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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